resentment...

Ok so were you the kind of person who got so jealous when you would hear of your friends going out on the weekends and hanging out getting to do whatever you wanted? I know I was. My parents wouldn't even let me out of the house. My mom hated the fact that I would go over to my friend's house. SHE LIVED RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET TOO! she would always say why can't she come over here. Or if your going to go over there I don't want you inside of their house stay in the front yard. My dad well he was strict as hell but never around and when he was it was kinda like he wasn't unless I was in trouble. Yea so at the age of 16 after dating my hubby for a year I gave in and gave it up yup! and lets just say the first time could have been way more romantic lol. My mom found out and flip she very old fashion and since the church says it wrong Then I must be going to Hell! She took me to the family doctor who although embarrassing actually helped. He told her times had changed that it wasn't an uncommon thing to have sex before marriage. She kept it our secret.

       Until I started to act out. I start skipping school alot! I would only go to the classes I like which were only like 3 out of 8. I felt like I was in hell in school, as if i wasn't accepted anywhere. My sister started to feel this way too her sophomore year and so she began to meet up with me at my car whenever she knew I was leaving. It fact I had never been to close to my younger sister. This brought us so close together its not even funny. The day my mom told my daddy that I was no longer a virgin and had been skipping school they thought it was to be with him. and some days it was but not really. He went crazy! beat us with his belt I remember at first I was sacred but after I couldn't think of anything else but to cover my sister. Because she wasn't at fault. She wouldn't have skipped if I hadn't I was the bad influence. My dad left home for 2 days. In which I took my time to think things thru my dad told me if I was home when he got there its cuz I had ended things with the boo for good otherwise he would kill him. So I took a deep breath and told him I love him but I was going my own way. I was leaving home. He told me I was dead to him. To only take what I could carry and be gone by the time I got back. That he didn't want to see or talk to me again. 

        I gathered my clothes in bags and waited for the boyfriend outside. I got in and tried hard not to look back. Saying good bye to my sister was one of the hardest things I ever got to do. 

 The first time I saw myself in the mirror I was surprised at all the bruises because I no longer felt the pain. I later got a call my sister with a message from my parents that I could come by for the rest of my stuff. I told her we would be buy that afternoon. On our way there we got in an accident. Suspension broke the whole left back side was damaged. I remember thats when my back started hurting. But I was afraid to say anything. Not because insurance because the other driver would have to pay but because of the bruises I had that I knew were not from the accident. 

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