Jealous?

Yea so this is one of the latest things my hubby has taught my daughter Jealous? She says it for everything. Today is both mine and the hubby day off. We decide we would spend it together going out to the stores taking the lil one to the small zoo thats in one of the nearby towns. Today started off semi ok. I hate waking up only to find out my husband has left. He decided he want to go say hi to the guys at work. Ok whatever. We get ready and go to the zoo. On our way back he decided he wants to stop by and wash his car. Sure I don't mind. All I asked is if he could drop me off at the CVS that was down the block and he could pick me and my daughter up when he was done. No go. This is were things went south we ended up fighting. Because he told me I'm going to take awhile all the more reason. Its like 80 degrees out and I don't want my child sitting in a hot car for to long. We go home mad. He leaves yet again without even a good bye I have no clue when he got back I took a nap with my daughter. I wake up he is home. 10 min later I have no clue where he has gone again. So I have all the time in the world to think.

I honestly am hating him right now. He tells me I am the one that works everyday. You work like what 2-3 days out of the week. I want to yell at him. I have a full time job its called being a MOM and its not even a job that I get paid for. I do it because I love it. I love watching my little girl sleep. I love it when I come home from my crappy job and she runs over and hugs me. I love that for naps she loves to fall asleep with my arm under her head. I am the one who has to make sure what little money we have lasts us as long as it can. While You just spend spend spend without thinking. My car might look nice or what not. Its been months since I told him I need new brakes the mechanic told him too and have I gotten them no! But he has money to go change the emblem on his car. To change the fog lights to HD ones. He washes his car at least once a week.

Am I jealous? Yes! because this isn't the life I wanted for myself. And every time I feel I step two steps forward someone comes along and knock me back 3! I want to be like my sister and be able to go and  buy myself new jeans and clothes or what not. I buy clothes for myself only about once every 6 or 7 months. Unless I get it at a thrift store. I want to be like him. To just be able to say I'll be back. And just leave. I want to have friends again. Not just people I know and say hi too. I hate that I don't even have that while he has both guy and girl friends.

As much as I might hate my life at this moment. I wouldn't ever give up. I have a child that needs me. I have to make sure she doesn't end up this ways. With a life full of regrets. So From this day on I will start to change my ways. I don't want any more regrets than the ones I have now.